Why These 7 Habits Help Couples Stay Strong Through Life's Challenges
Marriage is one of life’s most rewarding adventures—but it’s not without its storms. Every couple faces challenges: job loss, health issues, parenting struggles, financial stress, family conflicts, or unexpected life changes. Some couples grow closer through these trials, while others find themselves drifting apart.
What’s the difference?
Often, it comes down to habits—the everyday patterns that either strengthen or weaken a marriage over time. Strong couples don’t magically become resilient when trouble comes; they’ve built that strength long before life throws its curveballs.
In fact, the best time to develop these habits is before the wedding day—when you’re dating or engaged—so that by the time you say “I do,” you already have a strong foundation. But even if you’ve been married for years, it’s never too late to start practicing these habits and fortifying your relationship for whatever lies ahead.
Here are seven habits of couples who stay strong through life’s challenges—and how you can begin building them today.
1. They Communicate Openly and Honestly
When life gets hard, assumptions, misunderstandings, and unspoken feelings can create distance. Couples who stay strong talk openly about their fears, frustrations, and needs, even when the topics are uncomfortable. They don’t hide their struggles or let resentment quietly build. Instead, they cultivate trust by sharing what’s really going on inside and by listening with empathy to each other’s perspectives. The habit of honest communication often begins before marriage, when couples learn to talk through values, finances, family expectations, and future goals. Those early, sometimes awkward conversations become the training ground for facing harder topics later in life with courage and understanding.
My wife and I had many of these conversations before we got engaged. In fact, I found it quite necessary to have these conversations! Being open and honest with each other helps us in our marriage more than I would have ever imagined. It's a good habit to start building if you're dating someone right now and, if you're already married, sit down with your spouse and have this conversation soon!
2. They Prioritize Each Other Over Outside Pressures
Jobs, extended family, friends, hobbies, and responsibilities can all demand your time and energy. But couples who endure challenges well remember that their marriage comes first. They know that when their relationship is strong, they can handle external pressures more effectively. This habit shows up in the way they make decisions, intentionally protect their time together, and stand united when facing outside demands. Ideally, couples learn this before marriage—asking questions like, “How will this decision affect us?” and considering their partner’s well-being in every major choice. Over time, these priorities become second nature, creating a bond that remains unshaken by outside noise.
I can't tell you how many times we have turned down extended family events because we had other committments, it was too far away, we didn't have enough notice, or frankly, we just didn't want to go. Knowing your spouse like this will helpm inform most of your decisions without there being much discussion. If my wife and I recieve an invite to something a few days in advance, we might be available for the event. But, sometimes, we were looking forward to doing nothing for a weekend, and not traveling. That's a decision I get to make with my wife and we make it as a team. When denying an event, make sure you relay the message of "we". "We" decided that "we" cannot make it to your event. This shows the decision was made in unity, and doesn't "pin the decision" on one person.
3. They Approach Problems as a Team
In difficult seasons, it’s tempting to assign blame when something goes wrong. But couples who thrive through challenges view problems as “our problem” instead of “your problem.” They understand that they’re on the same side, even if they disagree on the best solution. This teamwork mindset leads to collaboration, shared responsibility, and mutual encouragement. Before marriage, this habit can be developed through smaller, low-stakes situations—planning a trip, navigating a minor disagreement, or working on a project together. By tackling these smaller tasks side by side, couples strengthen their ability to face larger challenges as a united front.
Again, building on my story from the last point, being in constant unity with each other is the bet way to approach problems. If you can be united in purpose, you will build better pathways for your future. My wife and I have had several problems we've needed to face. In our second year of marriage, we've been invited on multiple trips by friends and family. I wish we made a million dollars a year and could make it to all of these, but alas, we've had to say no to more than we would've wanted! There are also two upcoming committments we need to decide on, and both require flights, rental cars, hotels, and time off of work. We've already talked through these problems but we're going to need to have a decision soon. Hopefully, taking these problems head-on will help strengthen our marriage and help us solve larger problems later in our marriage!
4. They Maintain Emotional and Physical Intimacy
Stress, grief, or sheer busyness can cause couples to unintentionally drift apart, both emotionally and physically. Strong couples recognize the danger in that distance and work hard to maintain closeness, even during the most difficult seasons. They keep the spark alive through small gestures—hugs, holding hands, verbal expressions of love—as well as through consistent, intentional intimacy. They also remain emotionally connected by sharing their inner thoughts, dreams, and fears with each other regularly. This habit is best started early in the relationship, when vulnerability feels exciting and natural, so that it becomes a safe and essential part of the marriage in every season.
Before we were married, my wife and I had a semi-long distance relationship. By that, we were an hour and a half apart. Now, I know some of you reading this are timezones apart from your significant other; I've been in that situation while I was dating my wife and with previous relationships. It's hard to maintain intimacy far apart! What's helped me and my wife during our time apart has been capitalizing on the form of intimacy we can: when we're apart, we'd try to video call 4-5 times a week, if possible. We'd talk on the phone for hours; doing homework cooking, editing photos, or even just reading to each other. When we were together, we'd go on walks, hold hands, always hug each other hello and goodbye. Now that we're together, we continue that in our marriage! I work full-time and she works part-time. One of us is always waving to the other from the front door; we hug and kiss each other hello at the beginning of the day and goodbye at the end. We'll send each other short texts throughout the day, talking about dinner plans or after work errands. This helps us to maintain both our emotional and phsyical intimacy in our marriage, even though we're together a lot more!
5. They Manage Conflict in Healthy Ways
Every couple experiences conflict, but the way they handle it determines whether it strengthens or weakens their bond. Couples who stay strong avoid destructive behaviors like yelling, name-calling, or dragging past grievances into present arguments. Instead, they aim for respectful conversations, take breaks when emotions run high, and focus on solutions rather than victories. This skill can and should be learned before marriage, during smaller disagreements that offer practice in listening, compromising, and apologizing without defensiveness. Over time, healthy conflict resolution becomes a habit that allows couples to face disagreements without damaging their long-term connection.
If you get married, you've likely had many conflicts occur already and you've made it through these conflicts. When you're married, you still have conflict. From my experience, the conflicts aren't as "huge" or "big" as they were when we were dating, but rather, they're usually a little smaller and more frequent in mature. None of them excalate much at all, and are usually about dinner plans, getting to bed on time, plans for the weekend, what movie to watch, and frustration at chores that are piling up. Knowing how to sort yourself before blowing the matter up is essential and necessary. We realize that we are not against each other but rather, teaming up eith each other against the problem. Once this mindset develops, you will be very capable at handling conflict.
6. They Nurture a Shared Faith or Value System
Shared beliefs—whether religious, moral, or philosophical—give couples a compass to guide them through life’s uncertainties. When challenges come, these shared values act as an anchor, helping couples make decisions and find meaning in difficult circumstances. Couples who stay strong actively engage in practices that reflect their shared beliefs, such as prayer, meditation, volunteering, or community involvement. The time to begin aligning values is early in the relationship, before marriage, when discussions about priorities, lifestyle choices, and moral beliefs can shape a shared vision for the future. With this foundation, couples can move through life’s changes with clarity and unity.
My wife and I didn't share the same faith when we were married. However, my wife took an interest in my faith and studied it for a few years. Then, she started the formal, year-plus process of learning about the faith, growing in her faith with other potential converts and finally, getting baptized. She already held many of the same beliefs I had, so that made it easy to get along with her in the early months and years. This is easily the bedrock of our marriage. We've fall back on our faith more times than I can count, and it always grounds us and keeps us whole. Having a faith system that goes beyond ourselves has been equally important. I would urge any couple who holds religious beliefs to join men and women's groups, be active in their faith community life, and to pray constantly!
7. They Invest in Their Relationship Before There’s a Problem
Couples who remain strong in tough times don’t wait for a crisis to start working on their relationship. They take a proactive approach, treating their marriage like something that needs regular care and attention. This means planning regular date nights, seeking out marriage enrichment resources, and sometimes even checking in with a counselor before issues escalate. When this habit starts before marriage—through intentional quality time, personal growth as individuals, and shared experiences—it sets a precedent for a lifelong commitment to prioritizing the relationship. By investing in their connection during peaceful times, couples ensure they have the tools, trust, and emotional reserves needed when life gets difficult.
I need to stress this point: you need to have a decently long engagment. I'm not talking multiple years, and i'm not talking only two or three months. Pick something in between. Between 8-12 months is probably most ideal! My wife and I had a ten month engagement and that was the perfect amount of time. We got to have time to plan our wedding and honeymoon, had time to meet with a marriage counselor, take marriage assessment tests to see if we lined up on certain topics, and had time to seek out issues in case we had any. Since we had already been dating for four years, there wasn't much we didn't know, but seeing it all laid out on paper was the biggest help for us. We still have those workbooks and we've gone back and referenced them in our marriage already! If you do anything before your marriage, please do pre-marital education!
A strong marriage isn’t built in the middle of a storm—it’s built in the everyday choices and habits formed when the skies are clear. Couples who weather life’s challenges with grace and unity are those who have already practiced open communication, teamwork, intimacy, conflict resolution, shared values, and proactive relationship care.
If you’re dating or engaged, the best gift you can give your future marriage is to start practicing these habits now. And if you’re already married, it’s never too late to begin. The time you spend strengthening your marriage today will become the anchor that holds you steady when the waves inevitably rise.
Marriage is not just about surviving challenges—it’s about using them as opportunities to grow closer, deepen your trust, and reaffirm the commitment you made on your wedding day. Build these habits, and you’ll be ready to face anything together.
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